I admit it. The second I get home I put on my pajamas. There is NOTHING better than wearing pajamas after finishing a day of work (except fuzzy socks…see “A Little About Me” for clarification). Here is a story about one particular pair of pajama pants:
Did I originally purchase these pants because?
A) I like Mickey and Minnie Mouse
B) I enjoy pants that make social commentary
C) These pants are extremely luxurious
D) These pants were less than $10
I you guessed D, then you must have figured out that I am super cheap, or you figured out the argument I was about to make. Either way I can’t bear to throw these pants away simply because there is a gargantuan hole in the knee pitifully being held together through a sad knot between two pieces of fabric.
The hole formed through a series of incidents. The first incident was involving Christmas gifts. I always get stuck wrapping presents and, of course, along with cutting wrapping paper I cut a small hole in my pants and proceeded to swear like a sailor. Given that the hole was small, and the pants were nearly new (just about a month old) I continued to wear the Mickey pants.
Next came the attack of the coffee table. Not just once, not twice, not even three times, but five times did I progressively tear the hole in my pants by catching it on the corner of my coffee table. Each time I would swear enough to shame a rapper and continue to wear the pants. The final death knell came to the pants when I was putting them on one day. My foot got stuck in the hole and I stepped down with a force that let loose a large ripping sound. Currently the hole has ripped the right knee nearly in half.
Just short of Duct tape these pants can no longer be pants. Some people might just throw these cheap Wal-Mart pants away, but oh no, not me. Those pants cost money and they didn’t even make it a whole year yet. I know this is not the Great Depression, and things could be far worse financially, but you don’t get rich by buying lots of replacement sleep attire.
Plus who cares?