The Most Awkward Mother-Daughter Afternoon

Even to this day as a grown adult I find watching love scenes in movies to be, well….awkward.  I would prefer if I didn’t have to be subjected to sex scenes at all.  Even a long kiss makes me squirm.  So imagine you as a thirteen year-old and your mom going to see a movie together as a nice day out, and then imagine that movie being nothing but sex scenes. 

My mom had heard about the movie “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” from watching Oprah.  She thought innocently that it would be ok to watch with me; because why would Oprah recommend a movie that you wouldn’t want your kid to see?  We went to see the matinee showing.  Everything appeared normal at first.  My mom bought the tickets, we got our movie treats at the concession stand, and we found a couple of seats.
 

As the movie played my mom and I were caught by the incessant sex scenes.  I think we were both just hoping that each scene would be the last and the movie would progress forward…it never turned out that way.

Once the movie ended my mom and I left the theater and my mom said to me.  I’m sorry, I didn’t know the movie was going to be like that. 

So thank you Oprah for the most awkward, uncomfortable, afternoon spent with my mother when I was a teenager. 

Top Five Things Zombie Movies Are Missing

I have seen many zombie films.  They have become more popular in the last few years, but there are some things I think many of these movies lack that I would like to see.  Here are the top five things I think zombie movies are missing:

5. Advanced government warnings ahead of zombie outbreak like this one showcased on Ghost Lounge.

4. People going onto the ocean on boats as a means of escape.  I never understood why people simply stayed on land when they could be floating away from the horror.  If you are out on the ocean I doubt you will encounter many zombies, it is easier to avoid exposure (except when you have to go on land to get additional supplies), and as far as I have seen and heard zombies don’t swim.

3. Fungus as a cause of zombie epidemic.  One of the reasons Steven King is so successful in his horror movies and books is that he takes something that seems mundane and realistic and makes it a source of terror.  Fungus really makes zombies, just not with humans… yet.

2. Kick-ass old people.  Sure they may be slower than the young, but some of the elderly are quite feisty and many know how to shoot a gun.  Think a cross between Betty White and Rambo.

1. Zombie hamsters.  Some films in the past have had zombie birds and dogs, but what about other household pets?  Can’t you see how horrifying it would be for this adorable little lady to join the ranks of the walking dead?  

If you have any other suggestions leave a comment.  The funniest five ideas will be showcased and credited in a later blogpost.

Wasting time before the apocalypse

This is one of the few days in over a year where I don't have to go to work or school, or do really anything else at all.  I got to spend the entire day alone in my apartment.  Before you think to yourself "Oh, how sad,” just remember that I haven't had a day to myself in a very very long time. 

                                      

I thought since the apocalypse is supposed to be tomorrow (snicker) that I would dedicate the week to post-apocalyptic TV shows and movies to get prepared for when I am left behind.  So far I have watched the entire Jericho series (wish I knew that was on the air before it got canceled), I've watched a couple episodes of Galactica (meh), and of course a few zombie flicks such as Dawn of the Dead (the good version from the 70's) and 28 Days Later, as well as The Last Man on Earth starring Vincent Price (which is based on the same book [I am Legend] which was the inspiration for Omega Man with Charlton Heston, and I am Legend with Will Smith). I tried to time Netflix so I would get to watch the original left behind movie, but I thought of it too late and it is still in my queue while I have Big Love and Black Swan sitting on my coffee table. Too bad...some right wing Christian inspired movie about the rapture and those that don't make it into heaven right away would have been the perfect movie choice for today...this will require better planning for next time...2012 apocalypse viewing party!

I will continue to enjoy my lazy day where I order dinner rather than making it myself.