My Own Brand Of Rebellion

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."-Mark Twain

I’m the kind of person who often will surprise people.  I like unexpected things, and do unexpected things. I look like a nice unassuming girl next door, but I like goth punk and synchronized swimming.  I enjoy math and science and camping in the dirt (air mattresses are for old people and wussies).  This isn’t because I am crazy, but because I am a little rebellious and I don’t look it.  I was never the girl who dyed her hair black, got a bunch of piercings and tattoos, and began telling people to F off.  No I was more subversive.  If the band teacher kept pushing me towards the flute…well damn it I was definitely going to be learning to play the tuba. 

Whenever someone told me that I couldn’t do something (usually a skill or pursuit…nothing illicit) I sure as hell went out and did it just to prove a point. In fact, I would have never gone back to camp, and would have missed out tremendously, if one of the few bratty girls there (who really seemed to hate me) hadn’t said that I would never make it to the oldest group (a group who received some of the most wondrous privileges).  Her pathetic words held no power over me and I was going to make that clear. Although in the next five summers I came to love that camp and looked forward to visiting all year, I did feel a small sense of satisfaction when the final year came and I was there and the rude girl wasn’t.

My pushing back against dream killers is why I am always attracted to the kinds of artists that are a little off.  My favorite author is Oscar Wilde.  Known for his wit and unapologetic rebelliousness if he had been alive today I would actively try to work with or for him in some way.  I also love John Waters.  After watching one of his specials (This Filthy World) I realized that I had more in common with a 60 year-old gay man than most young women my age.  (Yes I have seen almost all of his wonderfully sick movies.)

Warning! Here comes the preachiness:

When you encounter these negative influences in life...these dream killers, tell them (in your head so that you stay productive) to go screw themselves and then prove to yourself that you can do whatever it is you want.
Don’t tell me that I can’t do something impressive, because you will be wrong…just letting you know!

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