One of my coworkers told me that he never knew certain things ever happened to people until he met me.
For example back when I had the terrible Geo mentioned earlier in “An Exciting Afternoon Drive,” there was a reason that my radio was broken…actually two reasons why my radio was broken…now that I think about it there were three reasons why my radio was broken, not to mention that when I got the car the radio was broken.
Reason number 1: The installation of the new radio I purchased was done poorly and my radio would work when it felt like it. I was too young and dumb to demand that the big box store employee who installed the radio reinstall it after it was not working just a month or two after purchase.
Reason number 2: I did not know that extreme Arizona heat and a can of Pepsi in my glove box was a bad combination…I told you I was bad at physics. Apparently heat caused the can to become so pressurized due to the carbonation that the aluminum could no longer contain the scorching hot Pepsi with lemon and there was a mild explosion. A mild explosion that destroyed everything inside my glove compartment, got all over the passenger side window and seat, and coated the radio faceplate with gooey syrup which then baked into a sugary concrete. This sugary concrete then made it impossible to change stations or listen to a CD. *Plus side my car smelled sweet and lemony.
Reason number 3: So my radio was already technically broken beyond repair at this point, and I was too cheap to purchase a replacement. The apartment complex I lived in at the time wasn’t the best when it came to theft. In fact, my car had been broken into before (several times). One day someone (presumably the same person who kept preying on the parking lot cars) decided to steal my radio out of the dash. I came to my car the next morning to see a bunch of exposed wires. I was so angry that someone would steal my radio (even though it was broken) that I filed a police report. The police officer kind of laughed when I admitted the value of the radio was $0.00 because it was broken.
To this day I laugh a little like Nelson from the Simpsons when I think about the moron that went through all that effort to steal a broken radio. Ha Ha! (Finger pointing)